Dueling Monty Python Quotes

[Meds]

Good! good? What do you know about it? What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris... back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it!

[Darth Gaos]

Would that be an African swallow or a European swallow?

[metron07]

ARTHUR:  Old crone!  Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy
  a shrubbery!
      [dramatic chord]
  CRONE:  Who sent you?
  ARTHUR:  The Knights Who Say Nee.
  CRONE:  Agh!  No!  Never!  We have no shrubberies here.
  ARTHUR:  If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend
      and I will say... we will say... `nee'.
  CRONE:  Agh!  Do your worst!
  ARTHUR:  Very well!  If you will not assist us voluntarily,... nee!
  CRONE:  No!  Never!  No shrubberies!
  ARTHUR:  Nee!
  BEDEMIR:  Noo!  Noo!
  ARTHUR:  No, no, no, no -- it's not that, it's 'nee'.
  BEDEMIR:  Noo!
  ARTHUR:  No, no -- 'nee'.  You're not doing it properly.
  BEDEMIR:  Noo!  Nee!
  ARTHUR:  That's it, that's it, you've got it.
  ARTHUR and BEDEMIR:  Nee!  Nee!
  ROGER:  Are you saying 'nee' to that old woman?
  ARTHUR:  Um, yes.
  ROGER:  Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say `nee'
      at will to old ladies.  There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing
      is sacred.  Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under
      considerable economic stress at this period in history.
  ARTHUR:  Did you say `shrubberies'?
  ROGER:  Yes, shrubberies are my trade -- I am a shrubber.  My name
      is Roger the Shrubber.  I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
  BEDEMIR:  Nee!

[KC]

Father: One day lad, all of this will be yours...

Herbert:  What, the curtains?

[MouseSlayer]

All the other kings said i was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but i did it anyway just to show them!. . . it sank into the swamp.

So i built a second one! That sank into the swamp.

So i built a third one! That burned down , fell over, then sank into the swamp,

But the fourth one Stayed UP.

[MouseSlayer]

Hurry Sir Lancelot!!!

[Meds]

Let that be a warning to you all. You move at your peril, for I have two pistols here. I know one of them isn't loaded any more, but the other one is, so that's one of you dead for sure...or just about for sure anyway. It certainly wouldn't be worth your while risking it because I'm a very good shot. I practice every day...well, not absolutely every day, but most days in the week. I expect I must practice, oh, at least four or five times a week...or more, really, but some weekends, like last weekend, there really wasn't the time, so that brings the average down a bit. I should say it's a solid four days' practice a week...At least...I mean...I reckon I could hit that tree over there. Er...the one just behind that hillock. The little hillock, not the big one on the...you see the three trees over there? Well, the one furthest away on the right...

[Darth Gaos]

What, behind the rabbit?


You can call me....Tim.



Message for you sir.

[Trekkygeek]

Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore is not in this bit.

[Darth Gaos]

Get me a bucket.

[Meds]

Well tell me Mr Death, is there an afterlife?

[Trekkygeek]

All Brontusaurus's are thin at one end.....Much much bigger in the middle....and thin again at the other end

[Meds]

GEOFFREY:
    Now, look here. You barge in here, quite uninvited, break glasses, and then announce, quite casually, that we're all dead. Well, I would remind you that you are a guest in this house, and--
    [whock]
    Ah! Oh.
GRIM REAPER:
    Be quiet! Englishmen, you're all so fraking pompous, and none of you have got any balls.

[Trekkygeek]

"My brain hurts..... my brain hurts"

[sheldor]

I couldn't resist.  There's no way to describe this..

Ow...my stomach hurts