AHHHGH! Stop the madness!

[Rico]

I hope no one thinks I meant in any way that people who use this stuff are lacking in abilities (although I think maybe a few are).  I certainly use some of this stuff too.  But there is a time and a place for it - and not when visiting with friends or relatives for the most part - IMHO.  Unless it's just a quick message or call.  Oh, as an aside Michigan just passed the no texting when driving law (do we really need a law for this??).

[billybob476]

Here in Ontario we aren't allowed to have hands on a mobile device while driving. That means texting, talking or even dialing. Handsfree sets and voice dial only.

With regard to being with company, obviously (in my mind at least) obviously the people in front of you should take priority over 'virtual' people. With others around I usually only whip out my phone to show people a video or look something up that's relevant to the conversation. Using a device among friends CAN have a place, but it should be contributing to the situation, not distancing you from it.

[X]

While I get what you're suggesting about there being a time and a place, I think I have to somewhat disagree with that. There has been a pretty stable code of manners when texting that has been building up for some time. While some might not agree with the way the new generations conduct themselves, there is a method to the madness. Things change. 30 years ago people would gather around the dinner table for dinner together. Today, a majority of families don't have the nightly sit down meal with the family.

Texting is a valid means of communication for the people that are using it. Their friends are right next to them in cyberspace. It would be akin to you telling someone of an older generation that they can't talk to the friend standing next to them while they are walking down the street.

In regards to the Disney trip. I understand the costs involved, but at the same time, you said you hadn't seen her in a while. Reaching out to her friends probably made her feel more comfortable being there. She was doing stuff with people that she hadn't seen in a long time and might have needed to have the familiar still around her. She might have also wanted to share what she was doing with those close friends. I think that the distance that was created really must have hurt, but it's a small price to pay to see your kid again, right? I did have one other question. Did she want to go to Disney or did she accept that she was going? The latter might give cause to being buried in her mobile device.

As to the law, yes we need it. People that text while driving are dangerous. For some people to not do something, they need a law there to show them it's bad. Those that are going to do it anyway will still do it, like drunk drivers. Some idiot always thinks that they are fine and don't have a problem.

[ChadH]

 Oh, as an aside Michigan just passed the no texting when driving law (do we really need a law for this??).

I heard on the news a couple of days ago that our local police dept here has now made it an official rule that officers are not allowed to text while driving their squad cars. Apparently they needed to be officially told not to do it.

As for what happened on your vacation Quadshot I believe you followed the correct course of action. You let her know that you weren't happy about it but you didn't make yourself the bad guy by making a scene and insisting that she put the phone away. That probably would've ruined the afternoon for all of you. At least this way someday you can laugh and give her a hard time when she's an adult and complains to you about how her kids never put their damned phones/games/devices down.

[QuadShot]

Kenny,
The key to what you stated is that you're almost 40...you've already (hopefully :)) learned social skills and how to apply them.  But teenagers, and yikes, even younger, are burried in their social networking and texting.  No face to face contact.  What type of social skills are THEY learning? I fear they will lack any real social interaction skills as they grow up.  How will society develop in the coming years if all anyone will do is text, Twitter, Facebook, whatever? I have nothing against these things, but there has to be a limit.  Like I said in my original post, I experienced this first hand with my daughter.  Every time I asked her a question about anything, all I get is very short answers with little or no enthusiasm. I know no more about my daughter after spending a weekend with her than I did before.  I truly believe that her obsession with text messaging and the need to be in constant contact with everyone (well, everyone but me :)) has left her socially inept.  Unable to figure out how to interact with me.  Oh well...that's why we have Treks In Sci Fi...to get us through these tough emotional times! :) Thanks Rico! Al

[QuadShot]

In regards to the Disney trip. I understand the costs involved, but at the same time, you said you hadn't seen her in a while. Reaching out to her friends probably made her feel more comfortable being there. She was doing stuff with people that she hadn't seen in a long time and might have needed to have the familiar still around her. She might have also wanted to share what she was doing with those close friends. I think that the distance that was created really must have hurt, but it's a small price to pay to see your kid again, right? I did have one other question. Did she want to go to Disney or did she accept that she was going? The latter might give cause to being buried in her mobile device.

It was actually her choice. She wanted to come out here, even though I don't really have any vacation time, and we gave her the choice between spending the weekend at the beach in San Diego or Disneyland.  Al

[QuadShot]

  Oh, as an aside Michigan just passed the no texting when driving law (do we really need a law for this??).

I heard on the news a couple of days ago that our local police dept here has now made it an official rule that officers are not allowed to text while driving their squad cars. Apparently they needed to be officially told not to do it.

As for what happened on your vacation Quadshot I believe you followed the correct course of action. You let her know that you weren't happy about it but you didn't make yourself the bad guy by making a scene and insisting that she put the phone away. That probably would've ruined the afternoon for all of you. At least this way someday you can laugh and give her a hard time when she's an adult and complains to you about how her kids never put their damned phones/games/devices down.

Chad, so true! I WILL be making a mental note so when HER kids won't put away their...holographic communicators :) I'll be saying....BOOM! HA! :P 

[Bryancd]

I don't accept the "we are all too busy" argument, though, so we get a pass from having normal, face to face contact with people in our lives. We certainly can make our lives VERY complicated and inundated with information thanks to technology, but our parents and their parents and so on were just as "busy" as us and somehow manged to stay in touch with those they loved. Why? because they CHOSE TO MAKE THE TIME to make the time to do it. technology becomes both a crutch and and excuse.

[QuadShot]

Bryan...well said brother.

[X]

I don't accept the "we are all too busy" argument, though, so we get a pass from having normal, face to face contact with people in our lives. We certainly can make our lives VERY complicated and inundated with information thanks to technology, but our parents and their parents and so on were just as "busy" as us and somehow manged to stay in touch with those they loved. Why? because they CHOSE TO MAKE THE TIME to make the time to do it. technology becomes both a crutch and and excuse.

Our parents also had far less close friends than most people do today. I don't remember the exact averages, but it's a huge difference these days.

[Geekyfanboy]

I don't accept the "we are all too busy" argument, though, so we get a pass from having normal, face to face contact with people in our lives. We certainly can make our lives VERY complicated and inundated with information thanks to technology, but our parents and their parents and so on were just as "busy" as us and somehow manged to stay in touch with those they loved. Why? because they CHOSE TO MAKE THE TIME to make the time to do it. technology becomes both a crutch and and excuse.

Please don't presume to know my life Bryan. And you don't have to accept "we are all too busy" argument.

That's the great thing about free will.. we can live our lives as we see fit. Love texting.. hate texting.. love social media.. hate social media. To each their own.

[QuadShot]

I don't accept the "we are all too busy" argument, though, so we get a pass from having normal, face to face contact with people in our lives. We certainly can make our lives VERY complicated and inundated with information thanks to technology, but our parents and their parents and so on were just as "busy" as us and somehow manged to stay in touch with those they loved. Why? because they CHOSE TO MAKE THE TIME to make the time to do it. technology becomes both a crutch and and excuse.

Please don't presume to know my life Bryan. And you don't have to accept "we are all too busy" argument.

That's the great thing about free will.. we can live our lives as we see fit. Love texting.. hate texting.. love social media.. hate social media. To each their own.

Who's this "Will" character, and why is he free? Is this the same Will that Picard is always shooting at? You know, Fire At Will? :)
I didn't mean to inspire a heated debate on societal norms, honest.  I just wanted to vent to you guys and gals whom I've grown to enjoy "talking" with. I think this virtual community of sci-fi geeks (yep, me too) is a wonderful place to vent and speak our minds. 

And yep Kenny, we should all live our lives as we see fit. Dead on right brother. I do like texting, not in love with the whole social media thing (Twitter, Facebook, etc), but that's my preference. Perhaps it has something to do with age? I'm 45...proud of it (well, because even if I'm NOT proud of it, doesn't change my age!) and maybe just shy of the wrong side of the techno-craze to love every aspect of it.  It sure has it's place in the world, I won't deny that, but in the context of my original post, I think there should be limits.  Family time should be family time. One of my deepest concerns is that with your face and attention buried in the texting device of your choice, you're missing the world all around you.  Including the dangers that may lurk in every corner.  If you're so busy concentrating on your text message, you won't see the attacker coming at you.  Paranoia? Probably. Anyway, thanks to you all for allowing me an outlet for my frustrations and disappointments of late. You all ROCK...but remember...There Can Be Only One (cell phone provider!) :) Al

[Bryancd]

I don't accept the "we are all too busy" argument, though, so we get a pass from having normal, face to face contact with people in our lives. We certainly can make our lives VERY complicated and inundated with information thanks to technology, but our parents and their parents and so on were just as "busy" as us and somehow manged to stay in touch with those they loved. Why? because they CHOSE TO MAKE THE TIME to make the time to do it. technology becomes both a crutch and and excuse.

Please don't presume to know my life Bryan. And you don't have to accept "we are all too busy" argument.

That's the great thing about free will.. we can live our lives as we see fit. Love texting.. hate texting.. love social media.. hate social media. To each their own.

Wow, that's a very surprising and unexpected response, Kenny, especially coming from you. I simply voiced my thoughts, I didn't judge, just offered my opinion. I thought you knew me better than that. :(

[AtlantisAngel]

Ok, so, I need to rant and vent a bit. Now, I haven't seen my daughter in about 5 years.  She lives with her mother, and is going to be a Jr at Illinois Wesleyan College. Various aspects of life have kept us from seeing one another, long story, not for this post.  Anyway, for months, my wife Joyce, myself and my 19 year old daughter have planned a visit.  Amanda (daughter) flew out here on Friday, July 2, then we drove to Disneyland Saturday (she'd never been so I THOUGHT she was excited).  So what does she do the entire 5 and a half hour drive? Text message her boyfriend, her mother, her step father, her friends, back to the boyfriend, then the mother again, then...well, you get the picture.  Ok, so not a huge deal.  Then, we check into the hotel and journey to the Happiest Place on Earth...what is that she's doing? TEXTING!  :mad2: Our entire weekend at the Park and she's got her face burried in her phone. Not enjoying the Park it seems.  Then, I look all around me and notice, probably about 80% of everyone in the Disneyland Resort is texting.  What the heck happened? I'm no technophobe, but come on! What is so important that you HAVE to constantly text message, even in Disneyland? And yes, before you say anything, I did mention my consternation to her but to no avail. I figure, I haven't seen her in like, forever, why alienate her? My point is, I just don't understand what is so important that we have to always stay connected to everyone? Why not put your text messaging on hold for a bit? I'm kind of disappointed in people - can't just enjoy life.  It's kind of like in WallE. The people in that animated movie are just what we're going to evolve into.  Our faces stuck inside some view screen "chatting" "texting" or whatever so much that we don't even know the ship has a pool! My  :2cents  Al

Welcome to being a young adult in a digital age. My parents have the same views on this social networking and texting thing as you do and I get it. I mean does she text you when she's back at home? Look at it from her point of view, she's away from her friends etc and she wants to stay in contact with her boyfriend. Yeah, it'll drive you nuts, it drives my folks mental when I used to text my ex boyf a hundred times a day (not an exact number of texts) and I text my mates from Uni a lot too.

Young adults (me included) and teenagers are spoilt in regards to keeping in contact with people. We have all this technology to keep in contact with people, and I guess we abuse it. I have all my mates numbers, facebook pages, twitter and email so we can always chat, I know it's daft but it's something that near enough everyone does.

Talk to your daughter. She's nineteen, when a girl hits that age, they turn into reasonable people for the most part. Just say that you haven't seen her five years and you want some quality time with her, minus the texting. She'll get it. It'll take a while but she'll do it. You're her dad, daughters (as a general rule) always listen to their fathers.  :)

[Rico]

To pull this back in a bit, I think some of this has gotten a bit off track and maybe not quite understood as intended.  As an example, you guys know I have two sons.  Both have had phones since they could drive (for extra safety - not texting while driving - lol).  And I've never seen either one of them use them like I see some people do out at malls, the movies, etc.  They might get a quick call or answer a text quickly but that's it.  I even remember my older son Stephen ignoring a girl who kept sending him texts while we were out having lunch.  I think everyone handles this new tech a bit different.  But here is the thing for me.  I try very hard to respect and pay attention to who I am with and Lynn and I have taught our boys the same thing.  Occasionally I've gotten a call when out and if it was important I excused myself and took it.  But generally I don't and let the phone pick it up.  You guys know I love tech and gadgets, but I use them in moderation.  If other people feel ok with texting away while they are out with others, I guess that is their choice.  But those are not really my type of people I guess.

One last little example.  When I was in Taiwan, cell phones and computer cafes were everywhere.  These people love their tech - especially the younger crowd.  However, when we went to dinner and did some sight seeing with a couple of people from the company (quite a bit younger than me) I never saw them pull their phones out once.  And we were out for awhile.  Anyway, just my thoughts and opinions.